After hearing Amy Winehouse on the radio this morning

 

 

Amy

Back To Black

Success, whatever it was, whatever
you thought it was, stuck its tongue
in your mouth, undressed you swiftly,
had its way, and left. The accolades
need not have led to emptiness,
left you smashed on arrogance,
a cocktail of insecurity and conceit;
nor soured your breath, lain down
on your voice the way an LA heat-haze
lays down to smother morning breeze;
nor pulled you into lights that left you
looking into black, the audience
out there somewhere, gazing back,
heads level with your feet.

26/05/15.

Another version – now an ‘unlucky’ or 13 line sonnet. Although I liked the idea of her feet being level with people’s heads, I think this is tighter and better.

Back To Black

Success, whatever it was, whatever
you thought it was, stuck its tongue
in your mouth, undressed you swiftly,
had its way, and left. The accolades
need not have led to emptiness,
you smashed on arrogance,
a cocktail of insecurity and conceit;
nor soured your breath, lain down
on your voice the way an LA heat-haze
lays down to smother morning breeze;
nor pulled you into lights that left you
looking into black, the faces
out there somewhere, gazing back.

Another version, 2 days later..

Back to Black

Success, whatever it was, whatever
you thought it was, stuck its tongue
in your mouth, undressed you swiftly,
had its way, and left. The accolades
need not have led you to emptiness,
smashed on arrogance, a cocktail
of insecurity and conceit;
nor soured your breath, lain down
on your voice the way an LA heat- haze
lays down to smother morning breeze;
nor pulled you into lights that left you
looking into black, an audience
out there somewhere, gazing back,
their heads level with your feet.

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2 Comments

  1. Thank you Lesley. I haven’t written anything and spontaneously posted it on the internet for a long time- It can be liberating and I heard the song and pretty much wrote the first draft of the poem while the record was playing so it felt right. Thanks again for your comment – its lovely to get an immediate response!

    Like

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